Despite my best intentions, a week and a half in, hands up, I’m finding it really challenging. We’ve had tears, we’ve had tantrums – not all of them mine ! – and all of us have found it hard to settle into a new routine.
For the children, it’s school but without the good bits. No friends, no teachers, no change of scenery. Just a parent to share and one who is pretty short on patience !
For me, it has felt like landing a new full time job, for which I’m neither suited or qualified !
After a particularly torturous day last week when the tears were mine, I sat down and took stock.
I realised that the success of the day begins with my state of mind. If I am feeling calm and resilient, then I’m much more likely to diffuse their frustrations and maintain a happy environment.
I have started to get up a half an hour earlier to give myself a bit of quiet time before the day gets going. I do a short mindfulness session, but also use the time to make sure I’m one step ahead and feeling organised ahead before needing to focus on the children.
When I feel my impatience rising, I use an easy technique to remind me to take a few deep breaths. Using my thumb I touch each finger on my left hand in turn, saying ‘calm begins with me’- one word for each finger. It’s a simple trick, but usually acts as a pause and stops me shrieking!
I also noticed that my self speak wasn’t very kind or positive. It was full of ‘I should s’….‘I should be more patient, more fun…..’. I was also suddenly full of self doubt. I’m a mindfulness teacher, why can’t I teach my own children and show them the same positivity that comes so readily with other people’s children ?
Why is it so easy to be compassionate to our friends and other mothers but not to ourselves ? Why are we so judgemental of ourselves, when we would instantly offer support, humour and understanding to a friend ?
I now recognise that self care is hugely important right now. A bit of time, a good nights sleep, permission to get it wrong sometimes, kind self speak and a gentle reminder to stay connected and laughing